


Broken soul

by indecisivemess



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Logic | Logan Sanders, Asexual Morality | Patton Sanders, Bad Poetry, Chapter 2 is the happy ending, Established Relationship, Everyone is ace cuz i said so, I really should have warned you guys about the angst, Implied Breakup, Internalized Acephobia, Letters, M/M, Not even I know what they mean, There's metaphors everywhere, You Have Been Warned, oh and, this makes like zero sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisivemess/pseuds/indecisivemess
Summary: To put it simply, Logan feels wrong. Not because of his relationship with Patton, no, but because he could never make his love happy in the way he deserves. So why keep this connection when it's clearly making the other miserable?(Idk man. I had a weird exchange with a friend and just, started feeling really bad)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

_I write to the stars, or to whoever will read, really._

_Enough to destroy the conventionally set structure of letters, if it ever existed._

_The world is beautiful, my dear someone. Or well, it should be. The sun shines, the rain falls, the clouds part, and the night sky grows. The flowers bloom, the leaves float, and yet, something is wrong._

_The equation is not right, I don’t understand where it went amiss. I keep analyzing, revising, and I always get the same results._

_I do not make sense, but really, does anyone? I keep believing that maybe, there is a person, out there, to answer my questions, to soothe my worries, but the hope is glim, and I shouldn’t be able to hope. ~~I’ve always wished you’d be the one~~_

_In the first place, that’s not my job. My function is to steady, to revise, to keep things in order and to not complain. My posture is the best I could achieve, my goals set in stone, and yet, there is a hole in the place where my heart should stay._

_I feel the lack of its presence, the aches it gives me, as I wish to hold your hand, and it disappears before me._

_It’s a frivolous dream, something I should let go. But my very existence stops me. I’ve tried to change, to smile, to learn, but something in the equation is always wrong._

_I’m back to the start. The papers around me pile up, my previous attempts at getting it right, until I can only see the sky, above my head. It’s not as comforting as it should be, but it keeps me company._

_I suppose a broken soul like mine only deserves so much._

_I know I’m making no sense, but really, when have I ever. It seems like those days are merely a dream, if that much._

_I hate to admit it, but I’ve asked for help. To fix me, to show me how to be different. I know there is no other way to be accepted, so that’s my only wish._

_The way I love is wrong, full of holes. Too much empathy, sympathy, but not enough words. Or maybe those are overflowing, but pointless, empty, to the ones around me. Those two theories keep colliding, almost becoming one, but they are polar opposites, so I don’t know._

_I know I love, I know I’m capable of it. There would be no shame if I wasn’t, but the lack of it pains me._

_And yet, I know something is missing. Besides my heart, the tears in my eyes have long since they’ve shed. Their dried forms itch and break my skin, but maybe if I don’t stop them, the answer will be inside of me, peeking through the teared seems._

_People are beautiful, in all of their different forms. Their laughs embrace me, even if I can’t follow along. I wish to join them, to know their world, but I know something’s missing, so I could never plague them like I do so._

_Dear someone, your figure is intriguing, your brilliance even more. I know I always tell you otherwise, but believe me, more often than not, I can’t distinguish my words from the lies I shout._

_I truly find you unblemished, flaws and all. Your laugh tickles the hole in my chest, and I always wonder if I step closer, if you’d allow me to stay._

_I know you wouldn’t, though. My hollow figure whispers insecurities with every step I take. I might believe I keep them well hidden, but you always find them. You don’t seem to mind them, which is a relief, in a way, but I know I could never make you happy, so you must push me away._

_It is the best for the both of us, oh my stars. You’ll find much more comfort with the ones that shine as bright as you. The ones that can match your smile are much more complete than I am. The light you once knew has always been a black hole, but you’ve always been too trusting to doubt it._

_I’ve lied to you all this time, and I’m sure you have noticed. Metaphors aside, you must have noticed. I reject your touches, I repel your hugs. Even a brush of a kiss makes my skin crawl. I do not know where the equation went wrong. I wish for those things, and yet, I despise them. The only thing I can keep secure is my love for you, such a poor, petite flower. It can never bloom, so perfectly hidden inside of me, because my body will never let you reach it._

_So I apologize, which I’ve intended from the beginning. I’m sure you won’t understand what I’m trying to convey, but it will be okay. We can remain friends, if you wish for that, but I’m sure a shining star like you deserves such a bigger night sky._

_Patton, my love, I assure you it’s not your fault. I’m the one that is full of holes. My existence makes no sense, and I regret not have told you sooner. I suppose I was afraid, if I’m not damaged enough to feel._

_I truly wish for you to find someone that can fulfill your desires, to make you whole. I’ll find comfort in your happiness, the one I can’t provide._

_I wish for you to find the one that will appreciate your beauty in its entirety, and not just the bits that interest them, like I’ve done._

_Until the day that happens, farewell, my dear._

_(I suppose the never) Yours, Logan._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, after actually putting that all into paper I felt really bad for how open it was, so here's chapter two! Everyone thank DavidtheTraveler for their comment, because i was procrastinating on editing this enourmous thing and I gathered the strenght to do it just because i felt that bad for them. it has 4000 words. Enjoy?

No one was aware of Logan’s late night turmoil. Well, it was closer to early hours of the morning turmoil, but his companions didn’t need to know of that. Nor about the fact that this was a fairly common occurrence. It was the first time he had actually considered going this far, but it was too late to back down now.

The paper had slipped under Patton’s door with a satisfying sound, but its disappearance caused an unfamiliar reaction, his bones shaking with the sudden emptiness that echoed out from his chest. Logan actually stared down at himself, wondering what could be wrong, before firmly turning around, clenching his hands into fists. He was being utterly ridiculous, feeling like this. “This is for the best”, he reminded himself, forcing his head up with a sigh, his figure slowly slumping its way into the darkness.

When morning rolled around, only a couple of hours after Logan’s nightly adventure, Patton immediately felt something was not quite right. He stretched and messily turned around in bed, lazily rubbing his eyes, wondering why he felt like this, but nothing came to mind. He had slept pretty well, his dreams were as wacky and silly as usual, and he was being hugged by warm and comfort from every angle! So what could be wrong?

He checked the time, nodded and rapidly slipped out of bed, giggling to himself when his foot got caught on the sheets and his face flopped straight into a pile of discarded clothes. Goodness, he was so clumsy. The cat lover breathed in and quickly jumped back to his feet, not bothering with going to pick an outfit and just snapping his fingers, the usual suddenly wrapped around his body instead of his onesie.

A smile creeped onto his lips as he scanned through all the possible breakfast options, trying to distract himself from the bad feeling in his stomach. Probably just his usual nonsense. He settled on making oatmeal for everyone as he avoided all the things that were splattered around the floor, their positions the only constant in his life, until a neatly folded piece of paper caught his eye. Patton frowned, not remembering something like that being on that spot before, and curiously kneeled down to pick it up, turning it in his hand to see what it could have been.

Needless to say, Patton never got down in time for breakfast. The few people that actually showed up to eat waited patiently for the father figure, and Roman had to physically restrain his storm cloud from barging into Morality’s room when he voiced that the side in question could be passed out in his personal quarters and no one would know. The emo eventually calmed down and grumpily ate the bowl of cereal Roman had made for himself, and the royal gathered all of his will to not yell at him, just doing a turn back to the kitchen to go make himself another bowl.

Unfortunately, Patton also missed lunch, and Virgil was just a strand of hair away from invading his privacy to make sure he was alright. The only thing that stopped him from doing so was realizing that Logan was also not around, his head quickly starting to hurt from all the possibilities.

\- Ugh, can’t you just like, chill, for once, in your life?

Virgil’s glaring stare was more terrifying than he recalled, and Roman immediately considered all of his life options, hoping his tone had been more playful.

\- I would, if you’d let go of me.

The annoyance in his voice was weirdly adorable, and the frown on his brows was the most endearing thing he had seen all day, so Princey ignore his sudden spike of fear and only tightened the grip around his waist, resting his chin on the other’s bony shoulders. He felt the anxious side slowly unwinding into his touches, and as much as he wanted to bring it up, he decided against it, focusing on sounding comforting.

\- They are fine, my dark angel. Maybe they had a little disagreement and just need some time to figure things out.

Virgil was already pointedly looking at him, his mouth open to reply, but Roman quickly shut him up, pressing a soft kiss into his cheek. His skin blossomed in that adorable dusty pink shade the prince loved so dearly, and he couldn’t help but move his hand to caress it, being mindful to not smudge the layer of foundation the other always worked so hard on.

\- If you insist, I can take it upon myself to teleport lunch into their rooms. Just so we know they eat. Does that sound like a fair solution to you?

Roman watched as Anxiety chewed on his chapped lip, as he looked away in that thoughtful way of his, and he got so distracted admiring his beauty that he didn’t realize Virgil was looking him in the eyes all of the sudden, his heart doing a happy flip in his chest.

\- I guess – his boyfriend finally replied, leaning the tiniest bit into his touch. – But only if you let me make sure you don’t burn down the kitchen.

The answer was exactly what he expected, so Roman did his part, gasping offendedly and make his hand fly from his face to his chest, doing his best pose with the closed distance.

\- Excuse you, I’m an amazing chef!

An amused snort, and a roll of eyes, and then there it was, that small, teasing smile of his that the royal knew and loved.

\- Yea right.

He still continued the show for a little while longer, exaggerating everything he could in decent doses just to make sure that smile would stay in place, and only when Virgil was laughing and lightly pushing him away did he decide it was enough, gently taking his hand and planting a respectful kiss on it. The creative side then led him into the kitchen, just letting his boyfriend climb onto the counter as he gathered the ingredients, humming a song with intent to set up a nice ambient.

Unfortunately for their good intentions, Patton barely noticed the neat plate of delicious looking pasta Roman had worked so hard to make. He doesn’t remember when he had moved back to the bed, but it was the only thing that he was aware of. That he was sitting on his bed, letter in hand, reading Logan’s words for what must have been like the millionth time. As much as he hated to admit it, he really didn’t understand half of the metaphors that the logical side had scribbled onto the paper, but he did understand the emotions behind them.

He found himself touching a specific line with his fingertips, the ache in his heart terribly painful, like the words could sting him _._

_I suppose a broken soul like mine only deserves so much._

Why did he feel so connected with such a horrible sentence. There were other things, other words, that simply seemed to pop out, to create a connection with his own feelings, but not even those did he understand, so how was he supposed to decipher how Logan was doing right now. He did get one thing, though, his skin still itching from where the tears had rolled down earlier. Logan wanted to break up with him. He couldn’t grasp _why_ , and that made the frustration bubble violently in his chest, but that was as much as he could get from the letter. He was aware the hours had passed, that he probably was worrying everyone by not going down and doing his usual chores, but all of the energy had left his body after crying like he did.

The sigh that escaped him scared him momentarily, and he rubbed his face once again, pushing the exhaustion away. He couldn’t let this happen. It was the only thing he was sure of at this point. The moral side felt like he was at a bottom of a pit, with no light in sight, but he needed to talk this out with Logan. He couldn’t let it end like this. His legs supported his weight somehow, and he found himself dragging his feet across the mess on his floor, checking for sounds before opening his door. He could simply sink down into Logan’s room, but he doubted he would enjoy that.

Only once he stepped into the hall did he realize just how close their rooms were, and that he was still gripping the letter tightly, having moved around and pressed it against his numb heart, like that would help his situation. He didn’t dare pull it away, however, the pressure of the thin layer of paper against his clothes somehow giving him some comfort.

Patton raised his fist, staring at it and hesitating before knocking three times, his usual number and the usual pattern. Something told him Logan wouldn’t reply, so after a beat of silence, he spoke up.

\- It’s me – his voice was unsure, like he was questioning what that meant. – Uhm, Patton.

There was no response, not a single sound, but the side inside the room was aware of what was happening, and he wanted to forever deny the way his heart pounded, from consolation and despair, at hearing that voice.

\- I, uh – Morality continued, his eyes prickling again, like the ghosts of his fallen tears wanted him to cry once more. – I found your letter.

Another long silence met him, and he almost wrinkled the paper, the hand that held it suddenly so uneasy.

\- Can I come in? – he stared at the door desperately, trying to not raise his voice. – Please.

The only sound that reached his ears was the hammering of his own heart. This was a bad sign. Logan always answered back, no matter how angry or upset he was. Even during that one time when he had accidentally broken his desk and made a mess, the logical side hadn’t pushed him away like this. Yes, he had yelled and tried to swipe him out of the room, but he talked back to whatever nonsense Patton had told him at the time.

He could feel his lower lip trembling, his stand getting weaker, and his voice dissipating. He couldn’t understand where his strength was coming from, but he didn’t dare move from where he stood until he could see Logan’s face, until he could solve this somehow.

An absurd idea stroke him, and suddenly, he was moving his hand towards the handle, wondering if by any chance the other had left the door open for him. The tiny spark of hope burned bright in his heart and he very carefully turned it, his breath escaping him as the door followed his commands, presenting him with the way inside Logan’s space.

For a second, Patton wondered if the logical side was even around, the darkness that greeted him making all of the hairs on his body stand up. His poor eyesight really didn’t help distinguish the shapes in the unfamiliar room, and he almost turned around and left before a sound reached his ears, making his mind come to a halt.

\- Lo? – he called out, the hope clear in his voice as he closed the door behind him. – I’m coming in.

It was illogical, he was already inside, so he couldn’t possibly achieve that, but Logan didn’t contradict him. The click of the lock sounded much louder than it should, and it made Patton realize just how personal the setting of their situation was. He had only come around to chat for a bit, to leave him some cookies or the occasional meal if he missed them, but never when it was this dark.

Something familiarly uncomfortable settled under his skin as he approached the bed, and he tried to focus on making sure his steps were as noticeable as possible. Logan wasn’t sitting at his chair, or he would have seen it by now. Rather, he believed he would, so his next best guess was that he was laying down, even if it was very unusual of Logic to do so.

Reaching his hand around blindly, he looked for the covers, and kept stepping closer until his foot hit the frame of Logan’s bed, his palm falling heavily and coming in contact with a bump. The frown itched between his eyebrows as the sheets brushed in distress, and then the lump was rapidly moving away from his touch. The rest of the mattress shifted at the action, and Patton’s mind didn’t make it easier for him by clinging to the random idea that Logan had hidden a pet under the covers. Only after forcefully pushing that possibility away did he realize he had probably just found Logan’s feet by accident, giggling to himself at his own stupidity.

He took a seat in the bed, feeling a presence not too far away. His hands wished to touch it, to confirm that Logan was actually there, but he refused, keeping them tangled in each other over his own lap.

\- Y-Your metaphors sounded really pretty, even if I didn’t get them.

His tone was strained. Logan didn’t dare think his sympathy was forced, because he knew it wasn’t, but he almost wished that was the case. Even in a moment like this, Patton was nothing but kind.

\- Uhm – his hands rubbed nervously against one another, but he made sure the letter didn’t slip out of his lap. – E-Everything sounded really smart, actually. But well, you’re really smart in general, so it was no surprise.

Logan realized, in astonishment, how the urge to move appeared out of thin air. How he thought, dared, to turn around and face Patton, maybe sit up and hug him. Oh, how he wished. His forced stagnant state was challenged by this sudden feeling, his skin scratching, annoying. But he shouldn’t. He had been a coward up until now, not replying even when he was aware that was most likely distressing Patton, so he stayed put, waiting for that sweet voice of his to echo again in the quiet room.

\- But, and I’m sorry in advance for being so stupid – Logan’s mind yelled, contradicting him. – Was... was it something I did?

The nerd actually moved this time around, his reactions preceding his mind, and the figure of Patton seemed to notice that he was staring, that he was really listening. Maybe that was what prompted him to keep going, to elaborate further even if he hadn’t requested it. There was a familiar sound, even if Logan couldn’t quite figure what it was. Simply when his lover coughed did he realize he was getting ready to read something, and the memory of his desperation fogged his common sense.

\- Y-You said, uhm – Patton was moving again, reaching for the phone stored on one of his many pockets, activating the flashlight before looking for the words. – “as I wish to hold your hand, and it disappears before me”. And uh – his searching eyes ignored the ache, focusing on finding the right sentence.- That... that you asked me to “fix” you.

Hearing those words from his mouth, hand in hand with the falsely attributed meaning Patton had found in them chilled him to his very soul. Logic had never fully believed in their existence, but there truly wasn’t another way to describe what he was feeling right now. He shouldn’t have written something so misleading.

Some of the brightness of the light reached his frame. Not enough to clearly illuminate his face, but enough to make out his outline under the sheets. He could only watch, his throat closed up in a mixture of shame and regret, as Patton set the letter back down on his lap, the light still pointing down at the paper. His eyes were distant, from the meek glimpse he could analyze, and the weight on his chest felt almost unbearable, knowing he was the sole cause of that commotion.

\- Do you... have I ever rejected your love?

Patton was suddenly looking at him. Well, more precisely, looking in the direction of where he assumed his head would be, but seeing his expressions so directly still send shivers down his spine. He didn’t seem to have spoken his mind fully, so Logan didn’t reply, distractedly petting the sheets right in front of him so he could keep going.

\- I mean, not the whole emotion. I don’t know how to say it. – a heavy sigh escaped his lips and the hand that wasn’t holding his phone waved around as he looked for the right words. – The way you express it. Like, those cute notes you leave for me everywhere, so I don’t forget things. Or when you wake up before me and make me breakfast. Have... Have I ever, reacted badly to things like that?

His hand stilled, shock twisting his features. A part of him knew for a fact that those actions were intended as demonstrations of his affections, and yet, he had never fully realized that. Not only his real purpose, but also that Patton was aware of those actions as his love language. He truly amazed him.

\- It’s... not your fault, Patton. I stated that very clearly in my, letter.

The realization that he had been given an answer didn’t truly hit him until his wide eyes caught a peek of Logan’s hair, sticking from under the covers. His voice was muffled, quiet and raspy, and his paternal instincts almost wondered if he was sick before the possibility that he could have been crying popped up in his mind. Completely lost in his emotions, his aching heart urged him forward, his clumsy figure scooting closer to Logan, and this time, he didn’t hold back his hands, gently reaching for what he hoped was his arm.

The logical side should have predicted that Morality would resource to touch to soothe him, and yet the light pressure, even through all the layers, still surprised him, making him jump slightly. It wasn’t undesired, especially after realizing he missed Patton’s presence soon after writing that letter, and he only hoped the comfort wouldn’t go away. He almost whimpered when the father figure moved in retreat, his movements unsure and barely there, but thankfully, the touch came back, and Logan had never relaxed so fast.

\- If it’s not my fault, then why do you wanna break up with me?

The tension returned to his muscles, and aware of it or not, Patton’s hand moved to reassure him, petting him over the covers.

\- I mean – his weak giggle reached his ears. – You said you, uhm... that you love me, so I don’t understand.

Imagining his expressions was somehow, more painful than actually observing them, and that, added with everything else that was pilling up inside his chest, finally encouraged Logan to move. Patton could only watch in surprise as his disheveled form peeked from under the blankets, the layers pooling on his lap as he sat up. The horrified gasp escaped the moral side before he could avoid it, the sight of his sickly pale skin accentuating his puffy, red eyes, and the lack of his glasses only allowed him to see his poor state better.

\- Logan-

The teacher gently rejected the hand that had reached to touch his face, and the shame kept weighting him down, making sure his eyes didn’t lift from his lap.

\- I apologize for the more complicated sentences on my writing, but my intent remains.

Patton could only retreat his hand, grabbing at the ends of his cardigan to distract himself as he waited for the other to continue. Although, in truth, Logan didn’t know what to say next. That had been the sole reason why he had used metaphors; to aid him express his more complex emotions. Without realizing, Patton had put him under a very dimly light spotlight, and he couldn’t refuse to speak into the mic now. Taking a deep breath, he sorted the words in his mind the best he could.

\- I don’t doubt my feelings for you. I hope I made that clear. And I don’t regret them either. I simply... do not experience them as I should.

If that was supposed to be an answer, the moral side only took it as another puzzle, nothing clicking into place at hearing those words.

\- But Logan-

The other cut him again, raising a hand to quiet him down, and that was quickly upsetting him, even if Patton tried his best to not let that show.

\- What I mean with that is – his desperation was more than visible, one of his hands reaching to adjust his glasses even if they weren’t there. – M-My feeling are... I’m, not right, Patton. I don’t desire things others do. I do not wish to copulate. I’ve never have.

The intense blush that burned onto Patton’s cheeks would be adorable if Logan wasn’t so stressed out right now. The words felt heavy on his tongue, and _something_ had taken a hold of his heart, making him delusional, making him _feel_. And he hated it.

\- And it’s not a consequence of- of celibacy, or of “waiting for the one”, because we are products of Thomas’s imagination and therefor, our concepts for those situations are completely different. But even then, I’m certain there’s no one else I’d rather spent my life with, and I still don’t find interest in touching you in a sexual way.

Patton wasn’t sure if he should feel flattered or concerned, noticing how fast his breathing was becoming. He was still speaking, using words he didn’t know at an incredibly worrying speed, and Morality’s hands were moving before he could stop them, holding his face firmly in place. It pained him to ignore the way Logan tried to shy away from the touch, but he pushed forward, pressing their foreheads together and centering his eyes on his. For some unknown reason, that surprised the nerd enough to shut him up, the suddenly serious gaze pinning him in place, all words escaping him.

\- It’s okay – Patton said softly, carefully caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. – I promise it’s okay.

\- But-

\- No buts – the kiss that he pressed lightly to the tip of his nose lighted Logan’s skin on fire, and it was the cutest thing the moral side had ever seen. – I think I know how you feel.

Logan’s eyes suddenly shone and Patton couldn’t help the giggle that escaped him.

\- Really? – his voice sounded so hopeful it sting a little.

\- Well, I mean – he offered a shy smile. – You used some hard words there, but I think I got it. I-I mean, I don’t really uhm.

The nerd waited patiently for answer, not realizing the source of Patton’s conundrum, and that only made him more frustrated, his face quickly back to burning.

\- You know! – he whined, hoping that was enough.

\- I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about.

Defeatedly, Morality drew back his touch, and a rare spike of anxiety willed Logan forward, quickly grabbing his hands before they became out of his reach. The sudden action only made Patton more embarrassed, since they rarely held hands, and his world blurred a bit around the edges, his face impossibly hot.

\- Uhm...

\- I really don’t understand it.

Aware of it or not, Logan gently tugged his hands closer to himself, and Patton held back a squeak as his body followed along. He was so close. They were so close to each other. He could lean away if he wanted, the loose way Logan was holding him making that pretty clear, but a part of him refused to even think of that, just wanting to stay like this.

\- I... – he gathered all of his strength and squeezed Logan’s hands in return, noticing how his gaze softened a bit at the action. – I don’t wanna, uh, do.... m-make love like that either.

He was speaking so quietly the other barely heard him, and then he tried to hide his face in his hands, which were still holding Logan’s, and the sequence of actions was too much, gently pushing a snort out of the logical side. Almost forgetting about the situation they were in, Patton’s first instinct was to pout and attempt to glare at the source of the laugh, but when he moved to look at Logan, the other was already there, mere centimeters away, and it took all of Morality’s strength not to fall off the bed at their sudden proximity.

\- Thank you for your honesty, Patton – his eyes fell closed as he leaned down to kiss their connected hands, and Patton’s heart was beating so fast he felt like he was about to pass out.

\- D-Does, Does this mean you don’t wanna break up?

It had been a hopeful question, which he thought had a very simple and straight forward answer, but Logan’s face went back to looking miserable, silence overtaking them. His hands didn’t pull away, and he kept the closeness, but a nagging little voice on the back of Patton’s head whispered that they probably wouldn’t stay like that for long.

\- You know – he said suddenly, breaking through the quiet. – I think... Joan and Talyn are kinda like us.

Logan’s gaze was back on him, looking him directly in the eyes, and that intense stare almost made him forget what he was about to say.

\- I mean, they’re people, so it’s not a perfect comparison, but, they are dating, right?

\- Yes, I believe so.

\- And they said, in that one pride video, with a bunch of other of Thomas’s friends, that they weren’t very touchy with each other. And that, that didn’t stop them from loving each other.

Logan frowned, trying to recall the source material that Patton seemed to be referencing.

\- I don’t remember if they said-

\- Yea, but! – Patton’s hands suddenly squeezed Logan’s again, and it was almost painful. – Don’t you see? It’s okay. We’re, okay. We’re normal.

And just like that, the weight lifted off Logic’s chest. Not exactly immediately, since what Patton had said didn’t make sense simply on its own, but he did understand what he was trying to convey, and that was enough to set his brain in motion. That didn’t provide him with all of the answers he needed, but the most nagging doubts did quiet down significantly, and that was very much appreciated. Anyone that thought he was the smartest between the sides truly was blind to Patton’s raw potential.

The logical side didn’t know how to explain it, nor the reason for it, but his heart slowly started warming up right after reaching that conclusion, like wood burning in a fireplace, and his head felt light, his hands tickling. He couldn’t ignore the worried look Patton directed at him when he let go of one of his hands, but it quickly dissipated once he realized where his touch was directed, the tips of his fingers brushing gently against his cheek. His body was leaning closer, his blood almost boiling, and it scared him slightly just how much he wanted this, but he kept an eye on Patton’s reactions, gently lacing their fingers to reassure him.

\- May I kiss you?

Morality looked dizzy, and what Logan read as fear in his eyes almost made him let go of the other and apologize, but Patton’s hand twitched against his own, and his head nodded very shyly, and Logic had to contain his own excitement so he wouldn’t accidentally knock the other unconscious from hitting their foreheads together.

Only when their lips were touching, did both of them realize they had never actually kissed before. Sure, Patton had teasingly pretended to go for the mouth and then changed course last second, but this was still a completely new experience, and that fact made Logan’s lips tingle.

It had been a short one, barely there kiss, but the sight of Patton’s relaxed figure, his slightly parted mouth, it lit something in the pit of Logan’s stomach.

\- M-May I kiss you again? – he said, the words escaping past his lips before he was even aware he had pronounced them.

The sweetest giggle echoed in his ears, and then Patton was the one leaning in, pressing their mouths together with more intent. It should have been gross, considering everything a kiss entailed, but Logan’s couldn’t help but notice how safe it made him feel, being held like this, his thoughts quiet as he allowed himself to just feel.

They were okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont know if that actually made any sense at all, but i keep making logan suffer for my emotions and i just couldnt leave him like that.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write a second chapter with Patton's reaction to the letter. Idk. I was trying to enjoy my break and maybe work on my other fics, and my internalized acephobia came to bite me hard in the butt.


End file.
